modern day third-world humor
these jokes sent to my e-mail just made my day:
1. An Eat Bulaga contestant was asked by Joey and Vic: Ano sa Tagalog ang grasshopper? Contestant: Ahmm. . .Huling Hapunan?
2. It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said this: Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff!
3. In Wowowee, the question was: Kung ang sigaw ay shout sa Ingles, ano naman sa Tagalog ang whisper? The contestant answered: Napkin!
4. While watching the news yesterday about a kid killed by a bulldozer, our maid commented: Kaya ayoko mag-alaga ng aso eh!
5. My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: Imagine mo kung di ginawa itong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?
6. My cousin at a DRIVE-THRU: Miss, puwedeng take out?
7. Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: Please watch The Life Story of Julie Vega, opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November.
8. In a burger joint I heard a man say: Miss, isa ngang amusing aloha at saka kidney meal. Server: Dine in po ba or to go? The man answered: Ayoko ng sago!
9. I was making cookies at home when I ran out of cookie sheets, so I called our maid and said: Manang bili ka nga ng cookie sheet. And she replied: Ano po, solo o litro? (coke is it)
10. My friend said: Ang galing ‘no, yung Ash Wednesday last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!
11. A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting: Maam bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, Hesus and Company.
12. Eve - An officemate once asked: Saan sa Quezon City ang Mandaluyong?
13. My aunt was going to the US for the 1st time. She told us: Nagpapabili ang tita niyo ng autistic guitar. Saan ba nakakabili nun?
14. We were marketing for an org event, when one of my orgmates wanted to clear the definition of the types of sponsors (Major, Minor, Patron, etc.) So she asked her grandma: Lola, anong mas mataas sa Patron? Her lola replied: Patron? Eh di Shell!
15. Also in a gameshow. Host: Ano sa Tagalog ang teeth? Contestant: Utong!
16. I once heard an emcee say: Let’s give her a warm of applause!
17. One classmate in highschool said, Ang cute naman ng sintas mo, luminou! I corrected him and said, luminous! Then he replied, Oo nga pala, plural!
18. Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!! Pasahero: Boss, Cubao?
19. Sa isang gameshow, tinanong ng host: Anong ang Tagalog ng storey o floor ng building? Contestant: PLOR!
20. An officemate told us a story about driving alone in her car: Alam niyo, pag nag-iisa ako, feeling ko, wala akong kasama.
21. I had a customer on the line who had a password on his account. I asked for the password but he forgot. I gave him a clue: it’s a 4-digit number. He answered, Uhm, ROCKY?
22. I overheard a lady place an order at Starbucks: One cup of chino please.
Ang saya, diba? 
LOL on # 7
and on the autistic guitar too. hehe 
Just like the Alma Moreno joke - like what she said on TV - mag-ingat po kayo at mayroong malaking student rally sa University of Belt
Very funny boo-boos; completely original. I have also one such thing in mind and it goes:
“Believe ako sa mga bata sa China, ke bata-bata ang galing ng mag Mandarin”
Now, it’s completely original. You could also tell a French or American version of it.
Also got this from email. Woke me up one lazy sleepy afternoon. Hehe
bw: Alma Moreno really said that? Then again, why should I be surprised, it’s Alma Moreno! Haha
Major Tom: that’s a good one!
ferdz: that’s what these jokes did to me, too. haha!
Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!! Pasahero: Boss, Cubao? >>> malamang bingi yan. hehehe…
A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting: Maam bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, Hesus and Company.>>> konyo to. hehehe…
Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: Please watch The Life Story of Julie Vega, opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November.>>> hahaha… twenty-oneth din kaya pag 21st? hehehe…
In Wowowee, the question was: Kung ang sigaw ay shout sa Ingles, ano naman sa Tagalog ang whisper? The contestant answered: Napkin!>>> hahaha….
astig list.
i choked on my coffee. hahaha, at least i’m awake now.
dongho: don’t you just love third world humor? hahaha! panalo talaga.
{illyria}: hope you didn’t stain your clothes, haha!